Fórum Olavo de CarvalhoArquivo da comunidade do Orkut · 2004–2013

Piadas sobre Obama!!

Iniciado por rorschach em 29/07/2010 · 14 mensagens

rorschach#1
Some jokes they could have used on the view.

The liberals are asking us to give Obama time. We agree . . . and think 25 to life would be appropriate.
--Jay Leno

America needs Obama-care like Nancy Pelosi needs a Halloween mask.
--Jay Leno

Q: Have you heard about McDonald's' new Obama Value Meal?
A: Order anything you like and the guy behind you has to pay for it.
--Conan O'Brien

Q: What does Barack Obama call lunch with a convicted felon?
A: A fund raiser.
--Jay Leno

Q: What's the difference between Obama's cabinet and a penitentiary?
A: One is filled with tax evaders, blackmailers, and threats to society. The other is for housing prisoners.
--David Letterman

Q: If Nancy Pelosi and Obama were on a boat in the middle of the ocean and it started to sink, who would be saved?
A: America !
--Jimmy Fallon

Q: What's the difference between Obama and his dog, Bo?
A: Bo has papers.
--Jimmy Kimmel

Q: What was the most positive result of the "Cash for Clunkers" program?
A: It took 95% of the Obama bumper stickers off the road.
--David Letterman

Reply
rodrigo_20#2
...pensei em colocar na minha conta do FB, mas se eu fizer isto nao vou conseguir entrar no trabalho amanha...hehehe
rorschach#3
Pelo menos sao as primeiras piadas sobre obama, espero que continuem.
antnioluiz#4
Jay Leno é muito melhor do que David Lettobama.
leonardo_2#5
Letterman é um baita puxa saco do Obama .
antnioluiz#6
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priscila#7
Como eu disse, o apelido do Letterman, por causa disso, é "Toiletpaperman" - "letter" é "carta", em inglês, e "toilet paper" é "papel higiênico".
priscila#8
- Obama ended the War on Terror. He surrendered. 

- To err is human, to blame it all on Bush is Obama.

- Q. How can Obama improve the economy?
  A. By losing the election.

- President Thomas Jefferson made the Louisiana purchase for 233 million dollars. Obama spent more than that while you were reading this. 

- Q. What is Obama going to pretend to be for Halloween this year?
  A. A President.
priscila#9
- Q. Why did Obama step on the cockroach?
  A. He hates competition.

- The side effects of reading the ObamaCare decision include nausea and vomiting.

- Obama ordered Congress to set aside a billion dollars for a new research project. He wants to know why global warming goes away in the winter.

- Obama is getting tired of people who say that he doesn't have a birth certificate. He actually has several.

- Q. What does Barack Obama call Richard Nixon?
   A. An amateur.
priscila#10
- 
Obama has finally balanced the budget. The national debt is now the same size as the economy.

- Barack Obama walks into a bar with a duck. The bartender asks, “Where did you get the jackass?” Barack looks puzzled and replies, “It’s a duck.” The bartender says, “I was talking to the duck.”

- America once had Johnny Cash, Steve Jobs and Bob Hope. Now we have Barack Obama, no cash, no jobs and no hope.

- Q. Why is Obama more popular in China than in America?
   A. He created jobs over there.

- Q. Why isn't TSA catching any terrorists?
  A. They don't screen passengers on Air Force One.
priscila#11

- President Obama decided to do one of his public addresses against the backdrop of an American farm, but the ceremony couldn't get started because of all the flies buzzing around his head. Obama demanded to know why the flies wouldn't leave, so the farmer explained to him, "Well, those are called circle flies. They always circle around the back end of horses." Obama angrily replied, "Hey, are you saying that I'm a horse's ass?" The farmer answered, "No Sir, Mister President. I would never call someone a horse's ass. It's hard to fool them flies though."

- Q. What do you call the most powerful Muslim in the world?
  A. The President of the United States.

*****

"One liners" - ou "frases curtas" , boas para imprimir em camisetas, por exemplo:

- A village in Kenya is missing an idiot.
priscila#12
- Q. What will Barack Obama get for Christmas?
   A. Your job, your car and your house.

- 
Barrack Obama was out jogging one morning along the parkway when he tripped, fell over the bridge railing and landed in the creek below. Before the Secret Service guys could get to him, 3 kids who were fishing pulled him out of the water. He was so grateful he offered the kids whatever they wanted. The first kid said, 'I want to go to Disney World & Barrack said, 'No problem, I'll take you there on Air Force One.' The second kid said, 'I want a new pair of Nike Air Jordan shoes. Barrack said, 'I'll get them for you and even have Michael Jordan sign them.' The third kid said, ' I want a motorized wheelchair with a built in TV and stereo headset.' Barrack was a little perplexed by this and said, 'But you don't look like you're handicapped. The kid said, 'I will be after my dad finds out I saved you from drowning.'

- 
Obama has ordered that the term "Islamic Radicalism" be removed from national security documents. It's being replaced with "Allahu Akbar!"
priscila#13
 
- Q. Why was Obama staring at the frozen orange juice can? 
   A. It said "concentrate".

- 
Q. Why did Obama cross the road?
  A. Actually, Obama promised to cross the road, but then he didn't.

- Q. Why did Obama change his name from Barry to Barack?
  A. He thought Barry sounded too American.

E, pra finalizar:
priscila#14
Mubarack Hussein Obama, preocupado com os números a respeito de seu desempenho na eleição presidencial americana - que, a pesar dos ingentes esforços da redegrobo NÃO SÃO os que ela divulga - consegue arrancar do Congresso americano 100 milhões de US$ para contratar uma equipe de dez analistas econômicos internacionais de altíssimo nível, para que apareçam com uma solução EFICAZ e SIMPLES para mel
horar a economia americana, e que ele possa apresentar ao eleitorado americano. Os dez especialistas se debruçam sobre o tema por uma semana, e finalmente se apresentam no Salão Oval. Mubarack, ansioso, pergunta: "Então, acharam a solução?" O analista-chefe declara "Yes, Mr. President!" - E Obama: "Eficaz, simples e definitiva, como eu pedi?" - e o analista "YES, Mr. President! FULLPROOF!".

Mubarack cutuca Hilária e lhe diz: "Tá vendo, Hilária? Ficam me chamando de perdulário e gastador, mas veja só que dinheiro bem gasto! Os caras em uma semana acharam a solução DEFINITIVA pra melhorar a economia! Agora, a eleição tá no papo! Chama a midia, que eu quero que todo mundo saiba disso, e JÁ! Só quero ver a cara do Mitt, quando souber disso"

Chama-se a imprensa, e o analista-chefe, com toda a solenidade, entrega a Mubarack uma folhinha de papel. Mubarack dá uma cotovelada em Hilária e diz baixinho: "Olha o que é competência, Hilária! Uma solução definitiva, e que cabe em UMA folhinha de papel... Já sei que quando ler vou ficar danado com a minha equipe, por não ter pensado na mesma coisa ANTES - vou botar aquele Joe Biden e a sua turma toda no olho da rua, pode apostar!

Mubarack abre o papelzinho, lê e fica MUDO. Os cameramen e os locutores aguardam, a postos. Hilária, assustada com o silêncio ensurdecedor, olha por cima do ombro de Mubarack a folhinha - que contém, além das dez assinaturas, uma única frase: LOOSE THE ELLECTION, Mr. President.

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